Children Under Pressure

Teaching kids to manage stress has lifelong benefits

By Andrea Agardy

Even if they don’t understand or can’t verbalize what they’re experiencing, kids feel the pressure.

“Young kids might not know what’s going on, they just know something feels off. They don’t have a name for it,” says Julie Puckett, a guidance counselor in the Leggett Independent School District.

In addition to the pressures children have always endured, today’s kids must navigate stressors that simply didn’t exist when their parents were their age. By developing coping skills at an early age, they can build a toolkit useful for the rest of their lives.

If left unaddressed, long-term stress can have serious health implications. According to the American Psychiatric Association, stress can contribute to physical health problems like high blood pressure, obesity, a weakened immune system and heart disease.

There are mental health impacts as well. A 2018 study, using data compiled by the National Survey of Mental Health, found that diagnoses of anxiety and depression in children ages 6 to 17 are on the rise — increasing from 5.4% in 2003 to 8.4% in 2011-12. The study determined that more than 1 in 20 American children lives with anxiety or depression, both of which can be caused or exacerbated by unchecked stress.

Learning to Cope

Kids encounter stress everywhere— at home, at school, with their peers and even online. Parents can help their kids manage stress by teaching and demonstrating coping strategies, and reinforcing those lessons regularly.

Puckett recommends starting with a checkup by the family doctor to rule out medical issues. Once that’s done, set boundaries and practice moderation.

“Not every child needs a television in their room,” Puckett says. “Not every child needs a phone at the age of 6.”

It’s important parents keep their cool when a stressed child starts acting out.

“Once you start the yelling, you’ve lost,” Puckett says. “Paying attention and having that kind of relationship is so important, it just makes a world of difference.”

The APA also recommends prioritizing sleep and exercise, talking out troubling situations with trusted adults, spending time outdoors and practicing self-care by spending time just doing the little things that bring joy.

Giving children an outlet for their feelings and some structure — karate classes, for example — also helps.

“The busier your child is, within reason, the better,” Puckett says. “Those kids do so much better than the kids who have idle time on their hands.”

Signs of a Child Struggling With Stress

Irritability and anger: Kids, especially young children, might not have the vocabulary to describe how they’re feeling. That can result in a short-tempered and argumentative kid.

Behavioral changes: Sudden changes in behavior can indicate high stress levels.

Trouble sleeping: A stressed-out child might complain of being tired all the time, sleep longer than usual or have trouble falling asleep.

Neglecting responsibilities: Suddenly forgetting assignments and obligations or procrastinating more often can be a reaction to stress.

Eating changes: Eating too much or not enough can both be responses to stress.

Getting sick: Stress has physical symptoms, too. Children can struggle with headaches, stomachaches and may even spend a lot of time in the school nurse’s office.