Cyberbullying: What Parents Need To Know

Despite the changes in education these days, “the 3 R’s”—reading, ’riting, and ’rithmetic—still dominate most school curriculums. But parents should know about another couple of R’s when it comes to their children’s well-being.

The newest set of R’s—recognize and report—pertains to cyberbullying. Like in-person bullying, cyberbullying is a repeated behavior that aims to frighten, anger, intimidate, or shame the targeted person. It can happen through social media, messaging platforms, gaming platforms, and mobile phones. And while it’s not always harmful, cyberbullying can sometimes lead to physical, mental, and emotional damage.

“Cyberbullying can cause a big problem with a child’s self-esteem, even as early as elementary school,” says Brooke Cox, a licensed professional counselor associate in Nacogdoches who primarily works with children and adolescents. “I try to tell parents they’ve got to be aware because lots of times a child won’t go home and tell their parents about it. Look out for signs like whether they’re acting differently or if there are changes to their sleeping and eating. Do they no longer want to go to school? Things like that.”

Cox suggests children learn to recognize bullying and report it. In some cases, she also recommends talking to a therapist. Therapy, she says, can help children deal with the complex emotions that come with being the target of a cyberbully while offering adults ways to help them.

On The Rise

Recent data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 14.9% of high school students reported they had been bullied electronically. “Both cyberbullying and bullying are associated with depression, anxiety, behavioral problems, eating disorders, irritability, self-pity, decline in school performance, truancy” and other illnesses that could be caused by emotional distress, according to a February 2023 article in The Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law.

Suicide has also been linked to cyberbullying in some media reports and anecdotes, but there’s little conclusive scientific evidence of it. And while a study published in the Journal of American Medical Association found that 38.4% of those who were cyberbullied also reported suicidal ideation, it’s still not a definitive link.

In her practice, Cox has seen quite a few cases of cyberbullying, and she’s not surprised. “It makes sense because everything has become technology-based,” she says. “Children today are online more than ever before.”

Technology can open the world to its users, and it can also create difficulties if parents aren’t aware and engaged in their children’s activities. Social media apps, for example, can be a good outlet for children to talk, form friendships and express themselves.

But those same apps can give bullies anonymity, as well as a less confrontational way to taunt others. “Cyberbullying might be easier for some people than in-person bullying,” Cox says. “This way they don’t have to do it to someone’s face. They don’t have to see their reaction.”

Navigating a New World

Despite the rise in cyberbullying cases, there are ways to manage and try to prevent it without going completely off the grid. The internet is a tool to be used. And like other tools, there’s a way to use it safely.

The first thing parents can do to discourage cyberbullying is to take stock of online activities. Bullying of any kind often involves shame, which can prevent or delay children from telling anyone about it. But if parents sense something is off, they can review phone browsers for unusual or suspicious sites and activities. They can also check apps and social media accounts by going into the app library, which may include apps not found on the home screen.

In addition, parents should always keep the lines of communication open by letting their children know they can talk without repercussions—even if they’re the ones doing the bullying.

“A kid should not get in trouble or get judged if they tell their parents what’s going on,” Cox says. “They shouldn’t be feeling like they can’t tell someone how they’re feeling. That’s where counseling can help, too. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone who’s not your parent.”